First of all, let's talk about why a guy may be nice and why it turns women off. As it turns out, the shitty guys usually start off very nice. Flowers, opening doors, etc...and then at some point, they turn. It may not be sudden, but it's everything from controlling to abusive to just don't care anymore. Because women have experienced this kind of thing, being the nice guy up front has their suspicions raised more, because they don't find it honest. So, as a genuine nice guy, you have that going against you. You're going to have to just sit there and hope they understand and take it all in over time. By experience, let me tell you, if they don't enjoy it in several ways, though, from the beginning...leave. Because some people's suspicions about you will never be levied by any amount of honest that you are. In fact, those women will hold on to it like a jack-in-the-box that is ready to spring open with "AH HA!" the first time they think that your "real self" has been exposed because they either didn't understand something you did or you were a jerk for once.
Secondly, and this is the secret truth I've gleaned from many a close female friend, when women are on the prowl and they're open to a physical encounter...turns out that a lot of guys who are assholes are hung. And, oddly enough, a lot of nice guys are average. This little secret was revealed to me by a rather "experienced" source and confirmed by several others since then. So...guys, you may have that working against you too.
Lastly, when you're too nice, you don't exude that bravado confidence that is the secret to garnering most women's attention. This is the fine line...the one that you can walk into a room with flair and style but still pay attention to the small details.
Nice guys, you have your work cut out for you.
Ladies, let's talk about how you might be able to tell if he's ACTUALLY nice and feel comfortable moving forward.
I'd say the one way to tell a true nice guy from the fake ones (or ones with a myriad of other issues) are the quality and quantity of his female friends that he hasn't slept with. Real nice guys get the friend zone treatment so quickly that it'll make your head spin. You can step up and let one of these guys into your life. But we're talking about GOOD female friends, not skanks. If they're whorish or brash or whatever, then he's got some dark side you're going to find out about at the wrong time.
Once you let a nice guy into your life, don't abuse it. He may not say it outright, but what he's giving to you he's hoping for some of that in return. If you like him, give him some back. Not all nice guys are romantics, but they should be gentlemen. I'm more the bravado romantic type. I treat my friends with a love and grace of queens. If you step into a stronger role in my life, you get better than that. Can't help it...I'm a poet and a musician and old school and love the theatrics of a great date or moment.
Nice guys: hone up on your sex skills.
Women: they may not be amazing right out of the gate, but tell them what you want and they will be there often.
Keep in mind that this is just a guide to understanding. It's not always true in every case. I personally like where I differ. :)
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